Kelly

Annual holiday hiatus causes unlawful distress

Dec 7 • Opinion • 123

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As I stared in awe at the final scene of this week’s “Once Upon A Time” it occurred to me that TV makers have everything wrong.

OK, maybe not everything. “Once Upon A Time” is a pretty great show, so I can’t really be mad at the creators for, y’know, creating it.

But I can be mad at them for doing this whole “winter finale” thing. A month-long break placed conveniently during the time of Gannon University’s – well, every university’s – winter break is just plain cruel.

Was TV always like this? For some reason I don’t think so, although I don’t remember what I ate for lunch today, much less how often I used to watch “American Dreams” on Sunday nights.

(Does anyone else remember that show? I think I still have a soundtrack lying around somewhere.)

But now that I know Regina is definitely still evil, and Cora and her friend Captain Hook are definitely on their way to Storybrooke, I have to wait a month to find out just how big this mess is going to get.

What’s worse is that this is the month I have to actually watch TV. I have about four regular shows and I watch all but “Once Upon A Time” on Hulu every weekend.

I don’t have the regular time commitment it takes to keep up with a TV schedule. But I do have it during break, when the shows disappear.

If I were to be a logical thinker in this circumstance, I would say the winter break is probably good for most viewers. The hassle that goes along with the holidays is enough to handle without trying to remember to watch your favorite primetime dramas, too.

But on the other hand, those dramas sure can be powerful de-stressors.

The cherry on top of this metaphorical sundae lies in what my favorite shows are no-doubt being replaced with.

When I go to watch “Grey’s Anatomy” next Thursday night – because there’s no doubt I’ll forget that my shows are on hiatus – and see a big claymation Rudolph staring at me instead, there’s no telling what I’ll do.

Christmas movies are great. I love that you can turn on the Hallmark channel at any given moment this time of year and find an awful holdiay movie to snuggle down with – I don’t think I could really answer to a name like Scrooge, anyway.

The culprit of my pure hatred regarding the red-nosed reindeer is his animation.

While I’m sure he or she is a very nice person, whoever invented those awful clay cartoons unintentionally ruined my life a little bit in the process.

It’s gross. It’s disgusting. It’s obscene.

I couldn’t even handle “Gumby” back in the day.

But the ones that really put me over the edge are the creepy fuzzy ones, like Rudolph.

I just refuse to even try to understand how that can be entertaining.

Because if there’s anything worse than missing out on your favorite TV shows for a solid month, it’s getting fuzz in your Play-Doh.

 

KELLY MORELAND

moreland002@knights.gannon.edu

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