Awkward family photos make home seem normal
Pinterest is the perfect place to learn everything you never needed to know how to do — create an origami Yoda, make hooks out of old forks, wear a bikini top six different ways and roll plastic grocery bags so they dispense like Clorox wipes.
Actually, I totally did that last one and it’s awesome.
Pinterest will lead you to a few gems, though. It is there I found a link to perhaps the greatest website of all time: awkwardfamilyphotos.com.
I thought I knew what an awkward family photo looked like – people of all ages crying, cringing or stoned, arranged in a nonsensical pose. Everyone is dressed in coordinating colors and smiling as if they wouldn’t rather be anywhere else on earth. At least that’s how mine were.
But the photos on awkwardfamilyphotos.com are so bizarre they make my family look like the Cleavers, if Beaver had a baby sister.
Some are just people with big hair and acid wash jeans, but – assuming those pictures were actually taken in the ‘80s – you can’t fault them for following trends.
Others are outright embarrassing.
One photo features a family of 16 ranging in age from fresh out of the womb to Mr. Magoo. They look reasonably happy, which is shocking because they’re all wearing pajamas.
Yes, every single person sports the same set of teddy bear PJs complete with matching caps – the floppy kind elves wear.
In all the time it must have taken to find 16 sets of the same ugly pajamas in different sizes, no one thought, “Maybe there’s a reason they don’t make a lot of sleepwear for both children and adults?” or “Maybe this is an absolutely batshit crazy idea.”
At least those people were wearing clothes. Another family of four took a photo – presumably for their Christmas card – in nothing but Santa hats, fig leaves and a coconut bra for Mom.
How did that preliminary conversation go? “It’s time for the annual family photo, honey. You thinking what I’m thinking?” “Of course I am…nude.”
Imagine getting that card in the mail. You’d wonder whether to send your boring, fully-clothed family card in return or alert Child Protective Services.
The best awkward family photo I’ve come across is significantly less scandalous. In fact, it’s just a normal couple sitting in front of that generic cloudy background every studio uses. They’re frowning, though, and their eyes are so wide you’d imagine they received the worst news of their lives. Or their bill from Gannon.
One commenter put it best when he said, “People witnessing murders look less surprised.”
Awkwardfamilyphotos.com might not be exactly what Tim Berners-Lee envisioned when he was developing the World Wide Web, but hey, one great idea begets another.
Short URL: http://www.gannonknight.com/?p=5143